Sometimes heaven and hell exist in the same place: life as a couple.

Guilt confuses us...

There is something I want to talk about, that many women experience when we are mothers but we do not want to leave aside that we are still women, it is a silent demand that is little talked about.

I'm talking about that idea that you should just become a mother, and leave for later the woman you are, with the bonds that support you and the partner that is also part of your life.

It makes us believe that having a night with you, sharing some time with your partner is an abandonment, when in fact it is care, care of your truth, of your energy, of your emotional balance.

Without a doubt, our children need to see us present, alive, and complete. To be an adult who loves, who feels, who rests, beyond a single role. I am aware that the love for my children and for my husband do not compete because they have different places, different times and different needs.

When we understand everything fits and our family feels it, it makes us feel more alive, more present, more ourselves.Therefore, it is very important to find a partner who wants to be a dad, because there is the key, to have a husband, or a partner who wants to be a dad to live the process of motherhood, and parenthood in its stages, that while his wife recovers from the.partl and adapting to all the changes, stay by her side, supporting and loving her as a woman.

From experience, I am a mother of three, today adults, I can certify you that it is mentally and physically exhausting to have to juggle to be the "perfect mother" and the "complacent partner" at the same time.

In the end, in that eagerness to want to have everything in order and that both the couple and the children are well, and we the mother and the woman "we" ended up being the last one, on the list of priorities. We forget who we are and what we need, simple to please others.

It is an emotional and time burden that we almost always carry in silence. We need more space for us!!!... And with this I don't want to seem selfish, I love being a mother, I love my children, I love my husband, but sometimes we need a break and to be understood, and how is it is my declaration of self-love in action.

I don't care what they will say, because every woman seeks her own formula of coexistence, and since self-esteem is organized to take care of herself and cultivate her roles, there is no perfect formula we are only real women and parents. I'm not saying this is easy, by no means is it. We just need to get away from guilt and put ourselves in a place of more love, kindness and compassion.

It's been 48 years of being a mother, the children grow up and leave, in the end it's just me and my husband left. The couple's relationship does not remain in the background, we have, thank God, found the balance between being good present parents and knowing that it is fundamental that our children grew up with the best concept that we are parents who love each other and need this time alone. I always saw it in my parents and now I do it in my home. Home, perhaps it is, that space where one feels safe from the hostility of the world.

By the way, this is another sagacious observation of Nietzsche...

A successful marriage that lasts for a lifetime is a long dialogue between two lovers, where we both learn to grow together in complementarity, being friends, and parents. I am a direct witness of this, with 48 years of marriage to the same man.

Janitze 🌴