My Genius Plan

Ah,Makurdi weather! One minute, the sun is very hot, shining like it's beefing Makurdi and the next, the skies open up like a broken tap,no warning, no mercy. Just last week, I learned the hard way that in Makurdi, you don’t just check the weather forecast; you prepare for an aquatic adventure.

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It all started when I woke up to what sounded like a thousand drummers on my roof. It was RAIN Not the gentle, romantic kind, but the type that makes you wonder if Noah’s Ark is about to make a comeback. I peeked outside, and my street had transformed into a mini lagoon,did I just say mini, you'll literally have a river at your door step. But the thing is work doesn’t care if the road has become a river, so I had to get creative.

I had a brilliant plan, I'll wear an old faithful rubber slippers for the swim to the main road, this slippers has crossed more rivers than Moses has, then change into my office shoes once I got a bike. Genius, right? but it didn't go smooth. Halfway through my wading, my trusty slippers which had already been weakened by previous floods decided to retire. Right in the middle of the flood, one second I was walking and the next, I was barefoot in water and there's this annoying road side tout that shouted "Aunty, your slippers don retire!". I felt like tearing him apart but of course I could do that only in imaginations.

I had no choice but to complete the journey like a reluctantly, clutching my office shoes like the precious treasures they were,by the time I got to the office, my feet had made friends with every pebble and mystery object in the water. My coworkers took one look at me and burst out laughing. One even asked if I’d taken a "shortcut through the River Benue."I faked a smile ,dashed into the restroom to change into my fancy “office heels of Self deceit", because what was the point?

If you think that was the end of my water related misfortunes, think again. The rain had been falling nonstop for days, and if my laundry pile wasn't staging a rebellion then they've begging to leave the hanging line. I had washed my favorite outfit three days prior, but thanks to Makurdi’s new identity as a rainforest, it refused to dry,it was just there as moist as garri soaked without milk.Anyways I was desperate, I wore it slightly damp, thinking, "Body heat will fix this." Biggest mistake ever.

By midday, I noticed people subtly avoiding me in the office. At first, I thought it was my charm, until I caught a funny smell of… something. It was me, my clothes had fermented into a weird scent that could rival a wet dog’s perfume,I mean it smelt like a wet dog. My boss walked past, paused, and said, "Did someone leave wet clothes in here?" I wanted to disappear into the nearest flood.

At this point, I’ve accepted that Makurdi’s rainy season is just Mother Nature’s way of keeping us humble. Between the impromptu swimming sessions, the laundry that never dries, all we can do is laugh or risk crying enough to contribute to the floods.

So, if you see me wading through Makurdi’s latest ocean with one slippers, just know I’m not struggling, I’m adapting. And if my clothes smell like a swamp, mind your business. Rainy season in Makurdi is not for the weak!

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