Disappointed 😞but hopeful

Do you know what it feels like to have a dream garden and invest in making the dream become reality but only to be disappointed?

I got the opposite of my dream, and it's just making me feel sad, but I couldn't just let go because I love gardening.

Last year, I spent time clearing and cleaning this space for gardening, but the plants didn't do well at all, and friends told me that I needed to get better soil.

Immediately we got to the third month of the year, I took a trip searching for better soil. It took me time, but I finally got a gardener who helped me with soil and manure, and I was very pleased with him.

It took more than expected

Its rainy season over here, it didn't start raining early as expected, infact I was watering the pumpkin seeds i planted but all of a sudden it started raining and it was always very heavy, my garden was flooding on daily basis, this affected the progress of my vegetables.

I bought some fluted pumpkin seeds, sundried them as instructed, and planted them, just two days after, it rained heavily and I guess the flood washed away all the manure, after the rain, the sand changed its color.

It took weeks before the pumpkin sprouted, some of the seed perished due to the flood but I was a bit happy that at least I would have something to look at, just a few days, the color became so horrible and disappointing that I reached out to the gardener who gave me the soil and he said maybe the flood washed away the manure, it turned from green to yellow 🟡, why?😞.
I am like, "When did manure turn to mankind's sin that needs to be washed away?"
Sadly, the color remained the same till this minute, am thinking of adding more manure to see if it will get better.

Maybe I should remain hopeful

😬 Oops I checked and saw new ones sprouting, they look healthy, should I remain hopeful? Maybe this onea will be better than the first ones.

Same time I was rejoicing, i looked ahead and saw they ones that just faded out 😞, "what happened to you again my beloved?"

What could be the reason why they are dying? I guess it was very sunny that day, I couldn't see any more reason why they are fading.
I will keep watching to see what happens next.