Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder why it’s so easy for someone to play the victim. Even in cases where there should be no victims, they’ll always find a way to deflect blame and make it so that they are totally free of guilt and all it comes with. Even worse, they believe these things and defend their stance with everything they’ve got, to the point that if you dare try to change their minds or tell them the error of their ways, they’ll see you as the enemy and most likely go aggressive toward you.
That’s how crazy it can be. Many people take comfort in being the victim, and it shows in how they handle every situation they find themselves in. And I’m not talking about real victims here, or those who suffered acts of horror or harm. No, I’m talking about regular activities that didn’t need to have victims to begin with. I’ll give you an example.
When I was in secondary school, I always tried my best to get as high a grade as I possibly could. And because students who didn’t get the minimum grade requirements at the time were made to repeat the class, there was always a lot of pressure. So, when exams came and went by, and when our results came out, there were two ways we viewed the results. When we had good results, we owned them.
Like, “I had an A in maths.” Or something like, “I got a B in Technical Drawing.” However, when the result was bad, our tone changed: “The teacher gave me an F in maths.” Or, “The technical Drawing teacher gave me an F. That man is very wicked, I know he hates me.”
This should be a classic example of how people choose to be victims, especially when it means refusing to take responsibility for their role in the things that have befallen them. Such people only see themselves as the best and refuse to accept the fact that maybe they were not as knowledgeable or as good as they believed.
The same people who blame the government for not providing jobs don’t even know how to set up and optimize their CV, and when they fail at the interview, they blame favoritism and bad governance. People will blame their parents, DNA, height, weather, climate, dog, next-door neighbor, and even their spoon. As long as it means that they get to deflect the blame. Because apparently, everything is happening to them alone. That’s all.
I try not to associate with such people, because they will always find good excuses to convince themselves to remain in the same position. “I can’t start content creation because my phone has a bad camera,” or “I can’t learn the course now because I don’t have a laptop yet.” On and on it goes, but if you look deeply into these things, you’ll realize that there are more viable options to take that will get you the same result.
But not everyone is willing to do that extra work. Being the victim is easier, as long as you can blame your failings on other things and not own up to your role in them, you can sleep more easily. Because when you’re ready to accept your responsibility in all this, that will be when you’re ready to change for the better.
Until then, keep whining yourself!
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Thank you for this.
Keep buzzing @bruno-kema! Your daily blogging is an inspiration to others on the platform!
U know i.love these things u pointed out here Bruno
There are pple that delights in playing the victims ,lazy beings they are..instead of taking responsibilities ...I also try detach myself from such peeps cos with such mentality..growth will be difficult
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yeah... that's just thee reality of it all!
I think having the 'victim' mentality is taught and not learned. Being a victim is something that happens to one as opposed to placing oneself as a victim which requires an understanding of fault and responsibility. I've had a friendship end because they often depicted them self as the victim but never the one responsible which when I pointed this out they then wanted nothing to do with me.
It's hard to navigate around others that project this mentality onto others but I think having an understanding of responsibilities in self action can help thwart any attempt of 'self victimization'.
Thank you for your post.
Yeah... we just need to accept responsibilities and know that it's up too us to take charge of our lives.
I can understand what you wanted to say and I agree with it. Most of the people are not victims. They just play the victim cards to blame others.
Exactly!!!
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Thank you for this.