Friends

Friends

Where are they? They've gone? They were here just a moment ago.
I can still see them, standing there, conversing, their troubles and trials and loves and hates and..
What did you say? Were they good friends?
Yes, some of them.
Some were both friends and at times enemies.
That is a strange kind of friend, perhaps not a friend really.
Or is that what it's all about? Those drifting loyalties, and alliances,
and feelings getting in the way,
but we all have our transgressions, our mistakes in judgment,
our times of need and grief and the whole damn mess of things we get caught up in called life.

As I remember them, as I miss them, some of them, as I contemplate contact,
I wonder about their situation, their desire to meet again and pick up where we left.
Can you ever pick up where you left, can you really renew the same acquaintance?
Did it come apart for a reason and will that reason come back?
Is it better to leave things alone, in the past, and not brought forth to the here and now?

Perhaps if I could just cross paths with Frank or Jill or Edward, maybe even Alice, oh Alice, wasn't she something? I loved her smile. How did she do it? Always able to brighten my cloudy day.
I often think of them, review the events we shared, the times we got high together or went on an adventure, or sat in the school cafeteria and joked about the latest whatever.

Still, I find solace in my solitude, my lack of friends, my desire to keep a distance.
I guess things turn out for a reason.
I think I can guess mine.