This is definitely a rant about my current work in boutique consulting a.k.a my own family consulting firm.
This might bite me in the future, who knows but this needs to be said. Sometimes, degree does not equate to competency. What it does tell us however is how one willing to tolerate bullshit and commitment. Those two keywords are so important in workplace, the traditional setting for sure since you would encounter those two.
I do not have the competency to tolerate bullshit nor a degree, what I have is for sure the love of working, making money and basically I am able to work hours on end, as long as I get paid. The keyword is getting paid.
Imagine that you don't really get along with your family and then suddenly you work with them? This was another thing that got into my considering before really jumping into it.
Maybe I should not complain either because I was the one who willingly get into the trap knowing that the cheese and what not is just a bait.
I never want to get into family feud over money, inherintance, and future business but like a person just coming out of the cave, I found out I was behind. I didn't like the idea that as 28 years old, with nothing to my name but a pile of debt with racking interest. So, obviously, that cheese and what not was really tempting.
During these past few months, I realized my greed level is increasing. I suddenly think about how to fix the management, operating costs, and how to grow the firm to be bigger so we can have a building in one of major business district in Jakarta.
Given our clienteles aren't just some random business owners, the lack of fancy building and office shun them away that we have to create other partnerships. I really think that removing a few middlemen and going public rather than staying as boutique consulting would help us in the long term. As I slowly understand the rope, somehow my greed level was increasing and that was a red alert for me.
Only I realized that my greed would only complicate my future relationship and a peace of mind. It's not easy to be responsible for million dollar projects. It's not easy to manage all that money. I am sure my mother is still keeping a secret somewhere that would shock us down the line but really, all I wanted is just free of debt, get my own house like all of my siblings and finally settling down with some savings.
Though I realized that now, I need to switch the way I think too. I need to stop shying away from money or wanting to make enough of it. I realized how hard it is to find job out there and when you already find your gold mine, why quit?
For now, I am just going to try my best to survive and not get carried away. I should also stop trying to moralize everything and be fine with the grey side of the world.
One bullshit at a time ....to reach my goals.
Mba Cemy,, your story is somehow related to me,, i dont know how greedy you were when you wanted to get paid, but the moment you settled as an effort and just let you as a continuous peak contributor is amazing. That makes me want to ask you, what is the motivation behind it excepts as been greed one like you want to get paid.. in my family's culture, I never see my parents anger to me when in a day I do not open my laptop to get work. I am too obvious why I don't have a real circle like you in my life, but greed is kind of unseen, so then with many people around us want to push us. So, it is alright to be greedy. For me is more of a dead-end price to be greedy in the good way.
Keep it up ..
Man, this is heavy, glad you decides to share it here. I am sure the weight lessened a bit. Sometimes complaining and ranting really help when we feel that it is already too much to handle. Please hang in there and keep on surviving, just one bullshit at a time 💪💪💪
🙂🙃 It is heavy and that's why I am trying to rant hahaha. Consulting can be brutal and if I have poor stress management, nothing gets done and I'd burn bridges.
I'm just glad that you can be this strong despite all that piling stress. Seeing the light even with the thick darkness can be really hard. And I am really not expert when it comes to cheering someone up so all I can really say is "fighting!"
The number of times I have thought, "wait a minute, you were just doing this to pay the bills"! 😂 And then I have to re-adjust my ideas. It happens all the time, especially if you are in that kind of environment or one like mine where the work that it is possible to do outstrips the resources there are to pay for them! The great thing is noticing and changing.
😂 At first, that was my goal, just getting paid and leave. But here I am now, stuck trying to fix the management, branching out and my higher degree is being financed once again through the firms just like several of our employees too.
I also met a lot of new people that made me think differently. At the same time, I sorry for all the employees who had to deal with bad management. While I might not be able to fix it all, at least, I could help out by giving recommendations and such.
Today I was just really tired and wanted to rant. This is one of those job that can be so frustrating.
Great rant! ❤️
The red flag was working with family + business. Those two things just don't mix especially if you already have a bad foundation and more money isn't going to solve it, it will just increase tensions. I don't get my family involved in my side gigs and would like to keep it that way to prevent any sour relationships from not getting what I/They want from greed. I hope you consider trying a different path if feasible or if it's in the same business, just a section where you're free to do your stuff and left unbothered by the main branch.
I am currently working on branching out and in the legal process of doing that. The main branch board directors include my brother who is quite incompetent and does not have any work ethic at all. It is quite a pain working with such person considering we are boutique firms too with less than 30 employees who need to have a good leadership and proper management. I feel sorry for these employees though.
Hope it works out soon. You're also racing against time being built to the new venture versus sticking out to the current one. There's no easy method and it's unlikely you're going to have a fun time despite the separation because if you end up being more successful, you'll know there's going to be envy. Can't say I don't want your problem, I probably would want that headache if my family had a business given my current knowledge but alas, I came from poverty and trying to dodge being dragged down further.
😅Ah yes, sibling rivalry is real and envy included. I mean, the reason I got back into all this was partly through envy. Who wouldn't want to live in a fancy gated private neighborhood? That made me snap and started being an adult. Play time is over but it is a headache on its own, you know as well that family can be our biggest enemy rather than friends.
I can understand the feeling of being dragged down further, in my other set of life, I would say similar thing too. I grew up in poverty and my only goal was not to get dragged down further. That was the main goal, get into top university, landing myself a great job with stable income
Until I learned I had this set of family and honestly, damn even the way they think, invest and approach to life are different than many of us 😅 these people collect degree like it's Pokemon cards.
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I can't imagine how challenging it must be to work with your family, but I like your courage. Be gentle with yourself, trust your own pace and flip that challenge into something meaningful.
Sometimes, we really come to a point that we love our job but not the management or anyone/anything else. It's good that you have chosen to share your emotional burdens here. There are so many of us who can relate to your experience.