Yesterday, we had our awarding for the dean's listers, and fortunately, I was ranked first in our program. At first, I was happy about it because it was such a shocker for me because last semester I was ranked just in third, so I never expected that I would reach that spot this semester. However, as soon as I got to understand what it truly means to be at that spot now, it dawned on me that it could be really detrimental to my health. One of my mantras when I entered college was "work smart, stress less" because I didn’t wanna experience the hellish consequences of triggering my body. So, when I realized what being in that spot really meant, I somehow wished I had laid low.
I definitely don’t like being the center of attraction, so when I was called on stage, I almost cringed at the sight of people gawking at me, and some didn’t just gawk absentmindedly; you could really see they were judging. Of course, I knew it because I do that too. Plus, some looked at me like they’re out to get me one of these days, and it didn’t help how some of my classmates keep mentioning the ranking. I’ll be lying if I say I’m not pressured with that because I do feel like I’m compelled to keep it. I’m anxious and really conflicted on how to handle this pressure, so I just rant now because maybe…just maybe, it’ll be lessen a little this time.
All of the pictures used are mine.
Congratulations to you...you deserved to be on the first rank..knowing that you're very humble enough and smart..
Just take care one's body,when stress about life,don't forget to also give importance to one's self..
Thank you! I'm grateful you thought of me that way. It's really hard to face such pressure, especially now that my body is far from its natural order.
I know it's impossible to have a stress-free life, but hopefully I can handle them with grace I'm praying I'll have all throughout my academic journey. Thanks for the kind words and advice. Hope to see you around😊
Well done you. It's a lifetime effort to learn not to care whatever others think of you. Just have confidence in yourself .
Indeed, it's hard to unplug myself from listening to others' opinions because it's literally one of the things that fuels me to improve myself further. Of course there are times that things get out of hand, especially the mean stuff that's disguised as constructive criticism. Seeing those really delivers a blow to my esteem, but anyway at the end of the day, I have no choice but to pick myself up, or else what I've worked hard on until now would be no more than a waste. And that's more terrifying than their opinions!
Pressure is there jet, but always remember day by day you did your best and that what matter the most,
Luh thanks for the kind words Cath! Yes, the pressure is on, but as much as possible I try nako na dili madala.
Thanks for the reminder diay and hope to see you around~
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