Introductory Post: Have you met Ellie?

Mean girl, straight forward, no friends, tactless, I can no longer recall some of people’s “personal hashtags” and “labels” on me, simply because of my “resting b*tch face”, I think a lot of people who don’t like "people pleasing" would kinda relate to me, Lol! So yes, majority of my social media’s name is always “Have you met me?” It is for people who finds judging easier than getting to know someone better, because admit it, in our culture, gossiping is a leisure activity :/ so yes, have you met Ellie? Who is she?

GET TO KNOW ME
I am Elenor Blegario,from the Philippines, I was born in the capital city,I graduated with a degree in Tourism. People close to me often call me “Ellie” or “Ellen”, because majority of people who don’t know me, mispronounce my name as “Eleo-nor” :/ and I, my friends and my family, instead of repeatedly correcting them, just decided to give me this nickname, so it is easier for them to remember, so it is “Ele-nor”, alright, so who is Ellie, being born under the dragon and Aries sign, a lot of people describe me as a “go getter, zero patience, driven, all go, no quit and a bring it on person” I have this mindset that if I need to do something, I am not thinking twice and I dig on it, however, some, not realizing, I am a human being too, with emotions, I have huge a heart, that people often mistake as weakness, I also have down times, of course I get tired and I get offended, too, despite of it all, I don’t choose to live according to people’s labeling and assumption, I always say this, “ One life to live, zero f*cks to give”, this saves me from explaining, pleasing, and begging. I was born in a traditional Filipino Family, my parents both work, making ends meet, while I and my sister were being taken care of by nannies, relatives, neighbors, at the age of 3, my Father decided to work abroad, to sustain our needs, my uncles took care of me, while my only sister, was sent to my Grandparents, fast forward to the Middle School, until college, it was always me and my Mom, so we are very much close, although we have this cat and mouse relationship, Middle School and College were my favorite highlights, I have met my closest friends that are almost family to me, and they fill the void of not having a Father and a sibling by my side, they were also my inspiration, thankfully, i manged to be friends with people who prioritize education above parties and night outs,I learnt that studying hard can change and hone your future and yes,it taught me discipline.

REAL LIFE COMES AFTER SCHOOL
Sadly, College days were very short,actually the education in the Philippines during our period was relatively short, and education as we all know, is like a training center preparing you for the D-day and on the 4th year, we were all separated because of the “On the Job Training” requirement for each graduating students, kids, remember that it is okay to make friends but never forget your goals in life, because time will really come, you will be walking alone in this life and you have to gear up for that. I dreamt of becoming a Flight Attendant, and so I took Tourism and did my OJT at Ninoy Aquino International Airport 1, the main airport, It was so glamorous, I was able to see most of the actors and actresses coming in and our of the country, and it fueled my dream, until the day I graduated, I applied for a job, and got accepted, however, my relatives heard of the news and told me that, they didn’t spend money just to send me to school, only to end up being “an air hostess”, It’s not really a glamorous job for them, and they badly want me to be a stable and have a traditional, 9- 5 job, because they feel like I am safer in that kind of industry, it was a hard decision and one my biggest regret.

I applied as a Reservation Officer, got hired, worked more than 8 hours and even on the weekends and holidays, I felt so overwhelmed as it was my first job, I wanted to be good at it, but when I wake up one morning, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, I gained weight and had the worse break out,

A picture, I really hide

I was so stressed that I distracted myself by mindless eating, binge watching, I ignored my health, one time I had a nightmare about the job, I received a call from my client telling me that they arrived in the hotel and was refused to be checked in because I forgot to make reservations, when I woke up from that terrible dream, I realized that this job is already taking a toll on my mental health, I had to choose, and without hesitations, and without consulting my family, whom I held responsible, if not because of their interference, I would have been successful in the job field I chose myself, yet I decided not to play the blaming game and instead, acted and finally, I submitted my resignation, I thought that was the end of it, I thought it would alleviate the situation, rather it worsen the case, while I was scrolling my social media account, I saw from my one of colleague's post that they went abroad for the company outing, regret came after, of course it made me feel terrible, I felt like I just have made the most terrible decision of my life, isolated, punished and disconnected myself from the world, it is true that uncontrolled envy can lead to worse and destructive behavior, because it can foster negative emotions such as feeling of unworthy, self-sabotaging, having no sense of direction, and feeling significantly way behind, one day, you're like a broken car, while the rest of the world goes by, you're stuck, while I was scrolling on Instagram I came across a video of a woman, she is a content creator, and she is coaching people on how to bounce back after failures, and the song that played in the background is from U2 and the title is “Stuck in The Moment”,very timely, the lyrics honestly hit me, hard, and made me realized I will not be getting anywhere if I only isolate myself, so being the Aries Woman born under the year of the Dragon, I wanted to bounce back, I looked for a job and fortunately, luck is on my side, was able to get a job in the Events Industry in Makati, which is the business capital of the country, it only took me less than a year to build myself again, I’m also thankful for the support of my friends and family, because of them, I believed in myself again, I wasn’t afraid to navigate even from scratch, it’s a lesson learned for me too, that once life already happened, we can no longer go back to the past, we shouldn’t be regretting, and think about what “Could have been” it was already in the past and no matter how hard it was, we have to let it go, its like giving up our excess baggage so that we can proceed to our journey, another is to not blame anyone as we are the sole responsible for our life, we need to refrain from having the victim mindset and take full responsibility of our life, my mental health improved, I was able to bounce back, started to live and love life again, I started going out again, meeting my friends and colleagues again, I honestly took pride in showing up and letting them know how I picked up myself, and honestly, I no longer care about people who were mean to me during those hard years, I just brushed it off and told myself that if they were in my situation I’m sure they are clueless about the way out, but yeah, here I am, surprise, surprise, were there people who are happy I bounced back? were they disappointed I’m a having a good life? I honestly don’t care, I wanted to show up, it is up to them if they’re threatened or inspired (you can’t control people’s perception on you, always remember that) all we have to do is to hide if we don’t feel like it, and show up whenever we are ready, basically the ups and downs of life.

The Awakening

Success means different to different people and to me, success means having a stable job, being able to pay for my wants and needs, not exactly the designer items, but whenever you want something you can get it,life has been well, until my family and I had to tackle another major decision in life, and that is my parents retirement plan, they planned to sell all of our belongings in the city, and move to the countryside, the very idea actually made me so ecstatic, I have never experienced living in the countryside, it also made me worried if I was built with that kind of life, especially, with so much good things, currently happening in my life during that period, but, my parents are like me, they are adventurous, too, and I think if you are a kind of person who had to go through a lot, you seriously no longer feel scared, I mean you still do, but trust it would work out, and so in 2018, we took a leap of faith, sold everything and moved to Bacolod, Negros Occidental, life was hard, it wasn’t easy to live in the countryside if you are born as the city girl, but I honestly would not exchange it to everything fancy In the city, life here is peaceful, simple and good. This is the best decision I have ever made.

Countryside life would really humble you, once you get a taste of it, you wouldn't trade it to anything fancy in this world, I swear ;)

This is also where I started my ESL journey, so thankful I got this job before the Pandemic happen, and because of the nature of the job, I don’t have to go out in a traditional office building, and so I am not affected by the mandatory quarantine, in this industry I also came across Miss @antonette and Mr. @chinito , who introduced and onboarded me to the Hive community, I really have this passion of communicating, sharing, and listening and I always look forward to hearing people’s challenging and inspiring experiences, and that is the main reason why I joined the Hive Community, all the pictures attached was enhanced and edited by Canva and I certify they are all mine.

how do you feel when people judge you before getting to know you? Have you ever experienced failure too? How did you survive? And did you also move from the city to the countryside? How was it? Let us exchange insights! I’m looking forward to hearing from you in the comment section, let us stay connected.