I was asked to come back into the hallroom (or more specifically the MS Teams meeting link where I just defended my PhD).
"It is with great pleasure that we can now call you Doctor..."
These were the last words that I heard.
After four years, I actually did it. I defended my PhD and now it is all done. Not a 100% but the burden is gone, the massive hill I needed to climb is over. I can now see the horizon, I can now see the pathway leading toward the light, where the sun is setting on the horizon.
I could not sleep the previous night. My heart was beating too fast, and I formulated so many different questions in my mind that the examiners could ask. I was the examiner at this point, seeking out almost every mistake or gap that I made in the PhD.
If you search PhD defences online, you will get so many different ways that universities handle the process. Almost all of them see the oral defence as a formality. But at my university and in my faculty, the outcome is not made until after the PhD. So, the examiners can still change their mind if you as a candidate did not perform well under the pressure.
A week before my defence, they told us about cases where the candidates failed under the pressure, that they could not answer to the questions to the satisfaction of the examiners.
This was not to scare us, but to give us a reality check: the defence was not just a formality.
But here I am sitting, writing about the process, having survived it...
It feels surreal.
It feels like a dream.
The last four years feel vague, to a point where I am not sure what I really did.
But it is done.
It is done.
It is.
Now, I have a 250 page document that tells me people I can do the research and successfully defend it.
Waiting on the horizon is something special. Building upon this work. Building upon my research. On the horizon something special is waiting.
But for now, I can breathe again, as the pressure is gone.
The time spent was worth it.
And now I can face life with a different lens.
For now, happy reading and keep well.
All of the musings and writings are my own, albeit inspired by a very relieved me. The photographs are also my own, taken with my Nikon D300.
Congratulations, DOCTOR!
I felt the same way as you describe when I got back my Master's Thesis without a fail grade on it :D - I plan on converting its chapters to hive posts / video essays, but I have developed a LOT as a writer since those days, so I feel (and fear) that I will be re-writing at least 85% of it.
For sure! I have always wanted to get back to my Master's and turn it into posts, and also maybe videos as you said. But the fear of knowing the younger you... But I luckily got a citation or two on my Master's, so it was interesting to read someone else "digesting" my work!
Thank you so much, I am still trying to get used to it, but in all honesty, it does not feel that different!
Well done!
Congratulations 🥳🎉
It was all worth it.
!HUG
Thank you so so much! So sorry for only replying now. Things took a turn for the worse (in terms of deadlines haha). But I am back.
You are welcome. No worries… I am way behind now as on the road since the 10th and had no internet. Just today and tomorrow until we reach our final destination during our country move.
Hope you have some breathing room (soon…)
Have a wonderful day.
Wow!! What a relief. And congratulations!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
That's quite something :) Congratulations!
Thank you so much! So sorry for only replying now. Wish I could say it was due to the beer I drank after celebrating, but deadlines of other things just destroyed my month. Thanks again!
Congratulations Dr Phil!
Now you can finally put your feet up and relax!
Thank you so much! Funny reading this after the month of craziness that I have been through.
I waited a long time to congratulate you my friend, and now finally it is done. Selah.
Will chat on Monday when I see you.
!BEER
Just want to pop in here to say thanks again! And now I am back on Hive again after the dormancy.
Ah! Great that you are back, as I was getting worried about your workload. So, I presume that you have completed the exam marking stint at the university? How are you doing with the textbook of your thesis?
!BEER
In fact, not yet done marking as I noted in the other comment. But the big one is done. Writing is a slow progress, or so I tell myself! But all progress is progress. Hopefully I still have some brain juice left to get the important writing done. The deadline is coming closer and closer...
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BEER.Wow, well done congratulations!
Thank you so much! I am also so sorry for only repsonding now.
no problem at all!
Congratulations on doing a fabulous job! I can only imagine how nervous you were, but you nailed it! Yay, you can breathe now! ♥
So sorry for only responding now, but thank you so so much!
Congratulations on this amazing accomplishment Dr. Fermentedphil!
Thank you so much! I am so sorry for only responding now. I went through a month of real academic hell. But I am here!
You're welcome and no worries about the late reply! So proud of you for making it to the other side!
Thank you so much. It really means a lot. Looking back at the journey, it is rather strange how I got here. But I am happy that I am here.
You're welcome! Life can through you quite a few curveballs. Sometimes strange and unexpected paths are the best!
For sure, and I would like to make the argument that these detours into strange and unexpected paths are the best! They lead to the most beautiful routes.