I think there's an element of that and also of turning mind-rocks over and seeing what's there meaning investigating what might be possible (job perspective) and accepting that a change of direction can be possible and viable. I did that and it worked ok for me, and in the current scenario in IT it might be a good path to follow in whatever directions you uncover.
I think it's important to be a little kind to yourself as well, not blame, and that'll help keep the headspace in the right place. Celebrate something each day...your hair for instance.
Seriously though, don't be hard on yourself.
This is the time to turn over those rocks I guess, starting with the massage course which will throw me out of my comfort zone and keep me occupied.
You are right, I am trying, always a trier!