I was hoping 2025 would run a little more smoothly than last year, it seems that's not to be the case...
Two months now and counting since I was made redundant. At the time I remained pretty calm about losing a decent job which paid well and allowed me to work remotely by the sea, but after numerous applications and very few replies, I'm now starting to get a little anxious. A daily scroll through Linked-in seems to show numerous people looking for IT roles, and I also read that Microsoft has recently cut 5000 jobs - now doesn't seem like the ideal time to be out of work.
The thing is I'm not sure I want another screen job and in my first, perhaps slightly rash, attempt to break free from IT, I've signed up for a week long Massage training course. I've always said that in another life I would have been a personal trainer or a fitness coach, so I guess now is a chance to bring that forward somewhat.
Over the past couple of years I've has numerous massage including Lymphatic drainage and I cannot describe how much, especially the latter, has helped me when my duff kidney is angry and I'm horribly distended. Speaking of the dodgy sultana Kidney, it is behaving of late - I'm eating about 6 items and boring as hell as that is, at least the bloated belly and side pains are much less frequent.
2025 actually started really well. A girl I'd been courting for a while moved in, and things were mostly going well prior to March. Then I lost my job, and then she told me she still missed her ex. She moved back in with him a few weeks ago - my moody, stressed head, and a drop in financial security were enough for her. I do pick them you might say, and you would probably be right.
It's not just me though, my Brothers current situation is also resting heavy on my mind. I can absolutely relate, and I guess that's why I'm carrying some of his burden. I'd love to for him to have a holiday.
Last but not least, my mother. Last year her partner lost his mobility and continence and was shipped back to the UK by relatives and into an old folks home, leaving my mother and her dog alone on the east coast of the Island. My mum has lived alone (and without a dog) in the past, but that was before she started to lose her memory. I hear it is tough for family members looking after those suffering from Dementia, I'm likely about to find out just how tough.
Although I'm more likely to find work on the mainland of Spain, or (gulp) back in the UK, I feel like I have to stay close to mum for the foreseeable. Selfishly, this potential move feel like a step backwards and further away from job opportunities, but the more I think about it the less it seems that there is an alternative option.
All in all my general mood at present could be better. I'm really trying to be grateful though for what I do have and not to ponder on what I've lost, or carry troubles that aren't mine - the latter is tricky for me and I may need some assistance. I'm hoping the massage course gives my self-esteem a boost and wakes up parts of my brain that haven't fired for many a year.
My hairs doing it's thing at least, and dare I say the style is currently quite fitting for a jobless beach bum.
Things will look better in the coming months, right?
Ash
Jeezus man, reading this made me feel for you; troublesome times indeed and having gone through various parental complications like yours myself I empathize.
It seems like every way you turn there's a hit, I know that feeling too, and it's terribly draining on...well, everything. (Except your hair which is magnificent.)
Keep your head up (if you can under the weight of your hair) and keep pushing forward, or at least remain standing, and things will start to move in the right direction I'm sure.
You know where I am if you want to unload a little.
Thanks man. I feel like i'm lacking plenty of instructions for a 46 year old guy, but is it a just a question of being patient and letting things fall into place. I do hope so.
I think there's an element of that and also of turning mind-rocks over and seeing what's there meaning investigating what might be possible (job perspective) and accepting that a change of direction can be possible and viable. I did that and it worked ok for me, and in the current scenario in IT it might be a good path to follow in whatever directions you uncover.
I think it's important to be a little kind to yourself as well, not blame, and that'll help keep the headspace in the right place. Celebrate something each day...your hair for instance.
Seriously though, don't be hard on yourself.
This is the time to turn over those rocks I guess, starting with the massage course which will throw me out of my comfort zone and keep me occupied.
You are right, I am trying, always a trier!
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Its been a month for me since retrenchment. I'm on the Data Analytics / Business Analyst side of IT, and I've applied for around ~25 roles so far. I'm waiting to hear back about the most hopeful one this week, but after thirteen years of full time work, I too have longed for a job in the realms of sunshine away from the glow of the screen.
However, Most of the jobs I'm going for are definitely firmly bathed in the glow of screen.
I'm hopeful for the future, but I've got a very decent financial runway to let me be a bit more picky about where my future goes.
I've been spending so much time in the gym and have been reading a lot; and it has been an incredible boon for my health. So good.
Everyone I speak to about being redundant offers sympathy, I tell them it is the best opportunity anyone can have to not only reinvent themselves, but also reflect upon what they really want to do when they grow up.
I don't think any of us have that bit figured out yet.
You have been busy like me with the applications, hopefully this week it'll be worth the effort.
Glad to hear that! I recently bought a Kindle and find exercise a great escape and something to provide positive chemicals.
I don't think any of us have that bit figured out yet.
You are right, as long as the time is spend reflecting positively and working towards that elusive question - what the fuck do I want to do anyway!
Thanks.
I got an email for another interview on Wednesday, so it is going well at this stage, but I also got a rejection email from another one today.
Anything in particular you've been reading that you've found useful?
Something, until it sticks
Good luck with that interview!
Siddhartha was my first Kindle read. I've got some Spanish learning on there but think I'll incorporate that with something lighter. Best thing you've read of late?
Mainly science fiction stuff... I've been insisting that people actually read The Three Body Problem book series. I haven't seen the show, but I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed the books.
Hang in there mate. You're a good guy who deserves a break. I don't know all the details of course but I am myself preparing myself mentally to deal with my parents end-of-life stage with likely dementia. Sometimes career has to take a back step (if you can afford it) to focus on the things that are really important - while you can.
All the best.
IT roles are no longer stable, AI has already started taking over and in another couple of years, majority of regular works will be taken over. This is the reason, I advised my son to not do a degree in Computer Science, which is a top most choice for everyone else. The current generation sees them as the most rewarding career, but they don't realize the mental stress it brings in, which will be very tough - they will expect programmers to understand what AI codes and implement them - doing the job for a decade will almost drain them out.
On the personal front, I think, everyone goes through some tough times, bring some positive vibes by doing meditation, yoga etc - everything will look positive then. I have gone through this for last 3-4 years, and now stopped chasing dreams and calm down my inner self and heal - a good sleep irrespective of everything is the measure of how you do....
Thank you for the comment. Meditation and Yoga are almost daily events for me, I'm even standing on my head and trying it :D
This is likely what I need constant reminders to do and insight into how to
My sleep isn't great. A head injury and a kidney issues don't help. I try to be in bed for 8 hours anyway, even if the sleep total barely reaches 6 hours.
I'm glad you have found your way :)
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Not good man! I hate when those things happen, and I can relate to your brother.. some shit that's for sure dude!
I know that times are for sure challenging, but these are the times when we also find out a lot about ourselves and what we can do. Hopefully things right back for you with the job prospects and with your moms health!
I'm slightly sad that the picture was above the nipples! (kidding, almost :D) I remember many moons ago for the Galen weekend post, you shared a titty pic and if that wasn't the most memorable time on the chain for many, I'm a damn fool LOL
Some fantastic hair though dude, fucking Willy Wonka 80's style!
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It's disgusting the way he is treated, and like another commentor states, he really need to escape - but that means not seeing his child. Really tough :(
They are - i'll try not to fall deeper into a pit of despair and get my arse into gear soon enough.
LOL!
Well, if @galenkp brings back the titties, I'll be there with bells and the odd wirey hair on!
Cheers dude! The hair is getting the odd 'smile' during my daily walks, i've not had any chocolate in months though!
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Ask and you shall (probably receive!) Titties for everyone!
There is potential to cheer up many a day :D
Lol.
Damn dude! This is all A LOT. I'm sorry there isn't an obvious, clear path right at the minute... but if everyone else is spending all their time on screens then they'll definitely need some corrective massage. The only potential downside is that massages, etc are usually the first things to be cut when people's budgets start to get squeezed.
All that said, your hair in incredible.
Screens and chairs, so bed. At some point I'll do a post on what a combination of lengthy sitting, kicking a football a million times, and being born with defective Collegen genes can do to your legs!
That's true, but Mallorca is a strange place. Such a clear divide between those that work and those that the workers are hear for - the latter will likely never be short for a massage!
Thanks for the fro big-ups!
Your hair is fucking mental 😀😀
That's a lot of rough shit and that woman... What a boot. I hope it perks up for you. You are right about the IT trade just now, it is looking very poorly!
Who knew it would be a curly mess, not I!
Likely time I started taking account for my life choices, which I am slowly learning are generally unwise!
I thought as much regarding IT jobs, the sector doesn't look healthy right now!
Life choices are shit, even the ones you think are good can backfire. Just have to throw the dice and take the roll! I think you are doing a good thing branching out.
I totally blame out-sourcing. The industry is awash with cheap IT workers from abroad and leads of permies can no longer find a job. Grr
Most of use just rolling the dice then? Where them sixes!
It's funny how when i/we started with computers and employment, we'd be seen as forever useful, and in less than the length of a career we are up for replacement - AI likely to scoop up many an IT role 🙄
I see your stress, pain and uncertainty. Life is that way, just keep going forward. Your path seems very clear to me, life is pointing at your most humble side, taking care of those that cared of you in the past, your mum in this momment.
As a divorced man suffering from mental abuse I know perfectly how your brother feels right now. Unlike him I had no children of mine but a step daughter that I keep in touch with frequently. He must break the loop and do what he must to do, leave and start a new life.
Since my divorce I came back to my father's home and I'm still here, life pointed my way on caring of my old father and a brother with mental issues. I'm really grateful for what life brought to me, I had to admit I would have to be humble and bear with all the issues I was facing. I keep going and I'm happy, trying to enjoy every little free time I have with my family, giving back what I was given.
Keep strong, sending you my best wishes 🤗
Thanks for the message. I'm sorry to hear you suffered at home, it's unfathomable to me how nasty people can be.
I've said the same - it's crushing him this situation, and yet he's still there, offsetting truly terrible behaviour with his daughters smile.
I guess my path is clear, I'd not g
Forgive myself for not caring for my mother in her years of need.
Thanks again for the reply, glad to hear you've found some peace and fulfilment.
It's hard to say the way things go as they can get weird. My life's been a lot of that. What most people don't realise in their quest for me-ness is the fact you aren't really special as far as the world is concerned. It's only then as things fuck up you realise that other people are indeed special. You'll notice them as they help you get back on your feet as they have been through similar shit. The worst people are always the ones that have sailed by thinking they are gods.
Great comment thank you.
I guess I'm still holding onto words told as a child that I was special - special to that person maybe, but not so much in the grand scheme of things.
Right. And indeed this comment fits that bill, thank you for your perspective.
Quite a jobless beach bum look indeed buddy.
But one from someone with a plethora of highly valuable skills, qualities and kindnesses that are not abundant in the job market. So don't worry mate. Since as they use to say in Spain: "God squeezes but does not strangle" Therefore trust that everything will be okay and just in the way you want it when you least expect it. There is no evil that lasts 100 years nor a body that can withstand it. Strength and patience, brother. Good things always come to those who know how to wait.
Hello there :)
I think you are being overly kind in your review of my skills, but I'll hold those words and try to see what you see.
In good moments, where I am waiting and have no expectations, I feel calm. And then my 'take action' thoughts arrive, but with that confusion on the actions to take. I should wait, at least for the summer, Thank you :)
That's the spirit!! :)
As you know, every opinion is always personal and subjective. And based on what I've already seen, I've decided to try to show you what you probably haven't seen yet. 💪
All these very normal, understandable and human aspects for anyone going through circumstances similar to yours. I've been through some similar ones over the years, and when so many of them appear all at once so suddenly, they certainly seem overwhelming. But in the end, only happens what has to happen. We must follow what our intuition tells us in the moment. And stop thinking so much about the future which is what actually fuels and amplifies so much our unfounded anxiety. We only live in the here and now. Therefore, trust that when the time comes to take action, you will take the most appropriate and fitting action for the moment.
Yep, I also think that for someone like you opportunities will flourish in a more abundant way by summer. Meanwhile relax. That before summer arrives, there will surely also appear multiple silverlinings.
I hear you.
And you know what I mean by that.
It is not a casual I hear you, but I honestly can hear your worry and vulnerability.
I am sorry, I can't offer you much in the sense of assurance from this side of the pond. I do not believe in sugarcoating, and direct news from our industry and several others are bad. We are heading towards a recession, some believe that US is already in one. Our oil and gas industry (which employs a lot of IT by the way, and is partners with Microsoft) is cutting 20-25% of its workforce globally. Higher rate in the US. Potentially 30%. It is happening now. Many are blaming AI for the job loss. Others blaming the populist and right-wing nationalistic policies.
See if you can read this without the paywall
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/07/magazine/trump-economy-finance-history.html?unlocked_article_code=1.IE8.CdEy.sg-1RgaMtqt2&smid=url-share
There is an audio version too in the post.
Getting back to the personal and family stuff. I don't know what to say, but seems like it is hard for us to keep relationships stable during times of crisis. So it feels like the correlation between human relationships and financial turmoil is at it highest right now.
Hello friend :)
Yes, worry and vulnerability casting a fairly hefty shadow on me at present - some of which I know can be change with perspective (or a lobotomy).
This time around you get the feeling it's big and bad news, for years. Which is why I'm looking for more 'hands on' experience, so I could find something to earn no matter what.
Yep - experiencing this first hand at present, ouch!
I face a very similar situation with my real life as well, but I am not brave enough to share life updates or make this kind of posts on my end. For some reason, I think that people are interested in what I have created in all these 7 years since I've been on the chain, rather than showing some real-life aspects too. But it feels good to know I am not the single one :)
Honestly, I think you will be surprised at the interest in a 'real life post' mixed in with your usual content. It's this content that connects us more deeply I feel, and some of the best and most insightful comments come under these posts. People also open up in the comments, sharing similar experience.
Writing out these ruminating thoughts seems to create space for me, which is why I am so grateful to be able to plonk them here, and receive encouragement and aspects from others.
Singletons we are!
I used to think the same but the rare moments when I decided to create one of these posts were not too welcomed, both in engagement and comments in general, so it made me feel guilty for doing it, thinking that I should stay away from repeating the experience :)
So glad to see you dear 🙂!
I'm really sorry u're going through so much, but I truly admire ur strength and how u're handling everything. I think it's awesome that u're giving the massage course a try hmmm yes it might be just the positive and refreshing change you need 😘😍🤗🤗
And btw ur hair looks sooo sexy lol! You’ve nailed 😄
Sending u a bigggggggggggggg huggggggg and lots of good energy for whatever comes next!
Hi Yanes, thank you so much for your kind comment - especially about my hair :D
I hope this year is a great one for you!
You're welcome honey! it's a pleasure to see you! aahaha and yes, it looks nice.
thank you for your kind wishes!
That is rough.
I hope you try and enjoy being a beach bum while you can. Sometimes you just got to take a moment in between all the nonsense and get back to what you enjoy.
Yes, I hope I can - this is all I need to be doing right now. Most folks are speaking of being patient - something I could spend some time practising. Cheers.
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STOPI’ve tried so hard, yet life keeps throwing me back to the starting line, along with the judgmental eyes of those who never knew my struggle.
But I won’t give up – because as long as I’m still breathing, there’s still a chance to rise again, even if I have to walk through the darkness to get there.
There will be darkness I am sure of that - something about being at a low before new life and energy arrives. Let's hope so dude.
Your honesty in sharing all of this is truly powerful. It’s clear you’re navigating a heavy emotional load from career shifts to family responsibilities but I admire how you’re still seeking growth, like through the massage course. That’s courage in action. I hope this new path helps you rediscover joy, confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose. Stay strong there’s more light ahead than you can see right now
Thank you, positive words good to read this morning.
You are blessed because you still have your mom even she has Dementia. A time that your mom needs to be taking care of, She needs her children now to be there with her or anyone that would be with her all the time to guide and take care her. Best regards!
Hang in there, brother! We all feel this way some times, but the hard times always pass. At least you found your way to the beach ...the best place to be jobless and just live.
Your write up resonates with the unpredictable nature of life. It's inspiring to see you embrace change and explore new paths like massage training, even amidst job loss and personal setbacks. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this journey
That's allot. Tough situations all around.
Wishing you and others the best possible outcome.
Thanks dude, appreciated!
Congratulations @abh12345!
You raised your level and are now a Dolphin!